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What Living in New York Has Taught Me

I am American—my mother is from Illinois, and I have US citizenship—but I grew up in Stockholm, Sweden. I recently moved to New York City and living here has made me realize that I lack American cultural fluency. Thousands of kilometers away from Stockholm, where I grew up, the past three months have revealed differences between Sweden and the United States and reaffirmed that perhaps I’m more Nordic than I previously thought. 

Of course, the first thing that shocked me, but did not surprise me, was the healthcare system—how and where do I get insurance, and why does it cost so much?

The Swedish welfare system—engineered by staunch social democrats in the 1930s and 1960s—centers around the concept of folkhem (People’s Home): that the entire society ought to be like a family, where everybody contributes, but also where everybody looks after one another. Not only is education free, but social services provide universal health care. So, navigating the American healthcare system—a system seemingly founded on ‘everybody for themselves’—as someone who has never had to worry about health insurance, has been, to put it mildly, stressful. 

But even smaller, mundane things, such as signing a cellphone plan or transferring money, have exposed my lack of American cultural fluency. Before living here, I had no idea what a ‘cellphone line’ was. I didn’t even know how to fill out a check (Sweden abandoned checks in favor of electronic payments long before I was old enough to handle money). I was even more clueless as to how to address my teachers. When I composed my first e-mail to my professor, I stopped short at “Hi.” Then what? 

Students in Sweden call teachers by their first names. The respect between teacher and student derives from mutual consensus rather than authority. In many ways, I think this practice, albeit new, is an extension of Sweden’s flat hierarchy culture. We greet and call each other by our first names, regardless of if we are chatting with a friend, a professor, or our boss.  

So, I opened a new tab and googled “How to address people at university in the US.” (I’m not joking). But, even now, three months into the semester, the word ‘professor’ still uncomfortably rolls off my tongue and looks awkward for me in e-mails. 

One difference that I truly appreciate—and am consciously trying to adopt—is the American cultural value of appreciating accomplishments. 

As a Swede, I never boast or brag when I accomplish or do something outstanding. Why? The unwritten and unspoken, but deep-rooted Swedish cultural code called the Jantelagen, literally translated as ”law of Jante,” which is basically the idea of never thinking you are better than anyone else.  

According to jantelagen, it is uncouth to brag unnecessarily or boast about your achievements. In a way, it keeps everybody—for the most part—on equal footing and reduces sources of stress within group settings. On the flipside, the cultural code can feel suffocating, curb individuality, and elicit feelings of shame when you ‘overshare’ feats or success stories. 

Living in New York, where appreciating accomplishments is celebrated and encouraged, has in turn encouraged me to share, albeit carefully and selectively, my accomplishments with friends and family, without feeling the accompanying shame of jantelagen. 

Today, it is easy to feel that we know everything about the world thanks to the internet, social media, and cheap flights. In reality, basic facts about life in another country often remain entirely invisible unless we build a life for ourselves there. It has only been three months since I moved from  Europe to the United States, but it has made me appreciate my old home more while embracing my new one.

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